There are days when you hear things on the radio that make you want to stay on the ground (almost).
A couple of weeks ago on a breezy Sunday morning, Dan picked up Jill and I in the CAP Cessna 206 at Westchester County Airport. Our mission was some proficiency flying down to Ocean City, NJ (26N) just south of Atlantic City, for some breakfast. Jill was flying the first leg, her first time in the 206 and first time in a while flying an IFR trip. So I settled into the very roomy back seat, and got myself comfortable while Dan briefed Jill on the airplane, the route and other details of the flight. Then she fired the airplane up.
As she got the radios all set up and the GPS programmed, a Piper Lance(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piper_Saratoga) taxied past us on the Panorama FBO ramp, apparently eager to get out on the runway. The Lance is a high performance (300 horsepower engine--it goes fast) and complex (retractable landing gear) airplane--much like the Piper Comanche we sometimes get to fly. It takes at least a modicum of experience and practice to fly well.
Jill tuned the radio and got the ATIS (Automated Terminal Information Service--an automated continuous broadcast of recorded important information about the current conditions at an airport. The ATIS is give weather information, the current runway in use, any taxiway restrictions and other key details--by automating/recording the info, the controllers don't have to give it to each pilot. The versions of the ATIS in use goes by the phonetic alphabet--it starts with Information Alpha for the first report of the day and when a significant weather or other change takes place, the ATIS is updated--so the next version becomes Information Bravo, etc.) We then pulled out behind the Lance, who was waiting at the hold line at the end of the Panorama ramp area.
Then the dreaded radio conversation began:
Lance: "Westchester Ground, this is Piper Lance $$$EJ with Information Rookie, VFR to Ohio, request taxi to the active."
Tower: (Initial silence. Then, with uproarious laughter in the backround): "Lance $$$EJ, Westchester ground--what information did you say you had."
Lance: "$$$EJ is a Piper Lance, going to Ohio, request taxi to the active."
Tower: (Again laughter in the background): "Lance $$$EJ, what INFORMATION do you have."
Lance: (annoyed now) "$$$EJ--we're going to OHIO. We have Information ROOKIE."
Tower: (still laughter): $$$EJ, pull back on to the Panorama ramp and re-check your information."
We were cringing at that point--not only for the pilot's obvious lack of understanding, but also at the tower requesting him to get back on to the Panorama ramp--that's the equivalent of being sent to the penalty box in a hockey game.
We taxied up to the hold line and called ground control to tell them we had Information Whiskey (the proper version of the ATIS--on top of that, there is no ROOKIE in the phonetic alphabet) and were IFR to the south and were quickly given permission to taxi to the active runway for our departure.
As we did our runup down by the end of the runway, the admonished Lance finally waddled along and whipped through a quick runup. The he called the tower for permission to take off from the runup area (not quite the appropriate procedure--you're supposed to taxi up to the runway hold line and THEN call the tower.) On takeoff, he called the tower just as his gear came up and asked the tower for flight following (a service where, even though you're a VFR flight, radar monitoring is provided to keep you informed of any other aircraft around you) when he was only at about 300 feet. Again the tower admonished him that he should request that when he was out of the airport area and in touch with the folks at NY Approach.
Shaking our heads and hoping that this pilot who was displaying ignorance of basic flying knowledge made it home safe somehow to Ohio with his passenger, we finished our run up, taxied out and were given permission to take off. On our climb out, we were switched over to NY Approach to start our IFR flight--the first thing we heard was the Lance pilot making a ham-handed attempt to get flight following from NY Approach.
Breathing a big sigh of relief that the Lance wasn't going in our direction, we headed down to NJ on a great flight--right over the top of JFK (look at all those little guys down there!) and down along the Jersey shoreline. Jill did a great job--a very smooth flight, with a couple of good landings at 26N, despite some really breezy conditions. We had a great breakfast (okay, I had my breakfast and then half of Jill's pancakes--what can I say?) and then I took the leg back to NYC, reversing the route that Jill had taken us down on.
Because I'd had some recent practice in the 206, and the fates were all aligned, and Saturn was in Virgo, and it had been a blue moon, I greased one hell of a smooth landing back at Westchester, which left us all with a good grin to end the flight! I don't claim to be a great pilot, proficient in everything, but the Lance guy scared me. But he also challenges me to be that much better/careful in what I do.
