I had a wedding to go to this weekend, so I went to get my hair done early on Saturday morning. I was waiting to pay and spent a bit of time listening to the conversation of three older women having manicures. They talked about family, they talked about movies, and then one of them started lamenting some recent car troubles she’d been having, and went into great detail about the specific symptoms her sick car was exhibiting. As I was listening to her talk, I said to myself, you know, you might just need brake fluid, lady. The eldest of the three – she was about 120 years old, I swear – decided to speak, and that process took about 30 seconds. She coughed her lungs out, then cleared her throat, then coughed again – by now even I wanted to know what she was going to say. Was she going to call for an ambulance, maybe? Was she having a heart attack? Finally, she spoke; “You know,” she said, “you might just need brake fluid.”
I was so flummoxed I couldn’t even find my wallet to pay the cashier.
I spent a fair amount of time being flummoxed this weekend. I was doing one of the readings at this wedding, you see, and when I took a rehearsal zip through it on Friday afternoon, I discovered that I couldn’t get through the reading without choking up! A nasty surprise, to be sure. It was first Corinthians – classic wedding material, love is patient, love is kind, it’s gorgeous stuff and I’ve known it by heart for a long time. Couldn’t read it aloud! Every time I did, I thought of Dan, whom I love dearly, getting MARRIED, for God’s sake, and I’d think of him back when I met him, and all of the things he’s been through in his life, and how happy I was that he’d found someone who he loves, and who makes him happy. And I’d choke up.
By the time I got to the Church, though, I was just fine, and knew I wouldn’t choke up. Until I glanced through the program and saw my mother’s name in the “departed friends” section.
Flummoxed again, at this simple act of kindness. And so touched that they would include Mom in their day.
So I’m trying to pull myself together from this setback by taking a walk to the back of the Church, and someone calls my name. It’s a dear, dear friend that I haven’t seen in a while – but I don’t recognize him at first, my eyes go right past him to see who called me. I look at him again and realize it’s my friend, the same wonderful man, except, oh my God, he’s had a stroke.
Completely flummoxed now.
I was overwhelmed by the supreme unfairness that this guy, of all guys, should have a stroke. This guy – let’s call him Doc – is one of those guys who exudes life – you know those people? He’s happy, all the time (he’s got a temper, mind you, but that’s another story). He has a wonderful outlook on life and it’s one of the things I’ve missed about not seeing him nearly as often as I used to. He’s a pilot, too, and he was the first pilot to teach me that people fly for the sheer joy of flying. Doc was just plain thrilled to fly. He taught me that an airplane can actually be handled; that it’s not just a hunk of metal. It can be made to dance in the sky, it can turn on a dime if you know how, it can FLY. He is a teacher, in the truest sense of the word. He taught me a lot about flying, and he taught me a lot about life. He was always willing to help out with a problem, and eleven times out of ten, he knew the answer to any question that anyone in the room had. Brilliant. And the thing I love most about Doc; the twinkle in his eye. He just loves life; he has a love for living.
Well, the left side of his body doesn’t work so well these days, but that twinkle is still there. And the stroke hasn’t stopped Doc – as he said to me at one point, as I took a couple of glasses of wine from him, “There isn’t anything worth doing that you can’t do with one hand.”
I didn’t choke up during the reading. I sure as hell had a lot on my mind, but I didn’t choke up. It was a beautiful wedding, and a wonderful day for Dan and Gloria. I left, though, thinking of Doc, who is still teaching me.
“It bears all things, believes all things,
Hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.”
-- 1 Corinthians 13:7
Beautiful. Really, really.
Posted by: scribbler | 05 June 2006 at 11:28 AM